Blue & Grey Enamel Pin

When BE first came out, Blue & Grey was one of my favorite tracks not only because I tend to love melancholic songs, but also because it talked about my fear of burn out, pandemic loneliness, and exhaustion. So that brings me to this design.

My first love in life (aside from food lol), has always been art, even at a young age it was something that I could express myself through even though I wasn’t good at it when I first started out. And that is why I wanted to represent that in an art palette, something that represents me as a creator yet something that also holds a lot of my own insecurities with questions like what if I don't create things fast enough? Will I ever be good enough? Will I ever actually achieve what I want to or will I only burn out and hate art instead of loving it? Much like Yoongi's track First Love, however, I often finding myself going back to art as a form of expression and creative outlet despite my seeming love-hate history with it. It took me several years to realize, but I've come to proudly accept that at the very core, I am an artist.

I chose to leave the main part of the palette where there would be wood as silver metal due to the lyrics “can you look at me”, since the metal would reflect & act like a mirror, “cause I am blue & grey”, indicating the colors of the palette which are various shades of blue. The mirror part mimic's the idea I had in my moonchild pin where you got to look at yourself and face yourself in order to grow without the influence of other's thoughts (because self acceptance comes first).

The lyrics “I just wanna be happier” can be found engraved at the bottom (in Tae’s handwriting), representing honestly a pretty dark place for me as an artist with a lot of negative thoughts, but also serving as a reminder that I control my own life & ultimately it’s up to me and my mindset to become ‘happy’. Often we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others, and I am not exception. I often feel like I create things too slowly which unfortunately in social media works against me in the algorithm, yet I've chosen to forgo that and focus on myself and not others, creating pieces that make me happy creatively and things that make me proud even though it may take me 2 or 3 years to come up with a design.

This pin is meant to be worn and meant to be exposed to wear and tear. Unlike my other designs which generally are display items, I wanted this one to be exposed to the elements and be well traveled whether it be on a bag or apparel. As the natural wear of the pin progresses, I want that to symbolize you on your own path, creating your own story which is why while the pins may look the same in the beginning, theoretically speaking after, everyone’s pins will be different due to the natural wear & aging of the pins if they are worn.

The colors of the palette are placed on top of a glow in the dark enamel, so that if any pieces do chip away overtime, there will be a really beautiful bright glow beneath the cracks symbolizing that there will eventually be light at the end of a seemingly dark tunnel. The lighter colors also glow as well, but underneath, if it’s chipped off is where it will glow super bright.

I hope this pin will bring you some comfort during these times (especially if you’re like me and haven’t seen friends in over a year lol), and serve as a reminder that this too, shall pass and soon, with hope (and vaccines) we’ll all be able to smile together in the future, just as the lyrics suggest.